Wedding Dress Shopping!!

Step 1: Confidence (Delusion)

I arrived at my first appointment thinking, “I’ll just try on a few dresses and instantly know.” I did not instantly know. In fact, I tried on a dress that looked like a romantic, flowy dream on the hanger and somehow turned into a haunted curtain once it was on my body.

Humbled immediately.

Step 2: The Dress Names Get Personal

Somewhere along the way, I realized every dress has a name.

Not normal names. No! These are names like:

• “Ethereal Whisper”
• “Moonlight Sonata”
• “Victoria, but Make It Sad”

Meanwhile I’m in the dressing room like:

Can I please take off “Regret with Lace Sleeves”?

Step 3: The Clip Situation

No one prepares you for the industrial-grade clipping.

These consultants will:

• Clip you
• Fold you
• Possibly origami you

until the dress fits your body in a way that is both impressive and deeply misleading.

At one point I looked in the mirror and thought, “Wow, I look amazing.”

Then I turned around and saw six clips, two safety pins, and what I can only assume was hope holding the rest together.

Step 4: The Entourage (A Loving Panel of Judges)

Bringing people is great. Bringing too many people?

That’s how you end up with:

• One person crying
• One person confused
• One person saying, “It just doesn’t feel like you”
• And one person who just wants snacks

Suddenly you’re not choosing a dress, you’re moderating a panel discussion.

Step 5: The Dresses You Didn’t Expect

The biggest plot twist?

The dress you swore you’d hate is suddenly… kind of perfect.

Meanwhile, the one you pinned 47 times looks like it belongs in a historical reenactment you didn’t sign up for.

Bridal shopping is less “following your vision” and more “accepting that you know nothing.”

Step 7: Can I Sit? No.

There are dresses that are beautiful.

There are dresses that are comfortable.

And then there are dresses that say:

“You may stand. Gracefully. For hours.”

Choose wisely.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not the Problem

If you:

• Don’t cry
• Don’t have a magical moment
• Try on 20 dresses and feel confused

Congratulations—you are having a completely normal experience.

The truth is, the “perfect dress” isn’t about becoming a different person.

It’s about finding something that makes you feel like yourself… just slightly more expensive.

Bonus Advice (From Someone Who Survived)

• Eat before your appointment (hanger is real)
• Wear decent underwear (trust me on this one)
• Take pictures, but don’t overanalyze them like it’s a crime scene
• And remember: you can always sit down later… just maybe not in that dress

At the end of the day, the best dress is the one that lets you laugh, breathe, and maybe even sneak a snack.

Because if you can’t eat cake in your wedding dress… what are we even doing here?